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Sprinkler Spraying Bawls-01

QUAKECON & GAYLORD STAFF LAUNCH INVESTIGATION FOR PERSON RESPONSIBLE FOR SPRINKLER SYSTEM SPRAYING BAWLS INSTEAD OF WATER

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After a small electric fire erupted in the BYOC, QuakeCon and Gaylord staff were puzzled to find that the sprinkler system had been altered to release pure BAWLS Guarana instead of water.

Local authorities are now seeking any information that may lead them to the memelord responsible.

“This is no laughing matter,” a local Grapevine Sheriff stated shortly after laughing at the word “BAWLS.”

Earthquake Enthusiasts-01

EARTHQUAKE ENTHUSIASTS ATTENDING QUAKECON FURIOUS AT LACK OF REAL EARTHQUAKES

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QuakeCon attendance has risen exponentially over the past few years, however that rising statistic seems to be attributed to the flock of earthquake enthusiasts who descend on QuakeCon only to leave dissapointed.

When interviewed, traveling Idaho man said “I love Earthquakes! They’re a way of life! This so called QuakeCon is a lie and cheat! I think I speak for my fellow Quaker Boyz when I say we’ve been tricked, backstabbed. and quite possibly, BAMBOOZLED!”

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