To Prove You’re Not AI, Art Must Include Tears, Therapy, and Craft Store Receipts
In an effort to combat the rise of AI-generated art, the QNN Digital Arts Competition has rolled out a bold new verification system: every submission must now include a time-lapse video of the creation process, a signed note from a licensed therapist, and a same-week receipt from Michael’s or equivalent arts & crafts supplier.
“AI might be able to fake brushstrokes, but it can’t fake an existential crisis in a Hobby Lobby parking lot,” said Tasha Grimm, Director of Human Authenticity at QNN. “We’re not just looking for talent—we’re looking for proof of pain, financial instability, and that very specific flavor of despair you only get from buying the wrong shade of gouache twice.”
The new rules are part of the “Project Not-A-Bot” initiative, spearheaded by Horsebyte, QNN’s rogue correspondent who once exposed a botnet masquerading as freelance pixel artists on Fiverr. “I intercepted packets from a Midjourney Discord prompt that straight-up said ‘Make it look like you felt something,’” he reported while chewing through Ethernet cable for dramatic effect. “We had to draw a line. Or at least a shaky, hand-drawn one.”
An internal memo leaked via an unsecured Airtable document reveals future proof-of-humanity additions could include:
- A tear-stained sketchbook
- A failed art degree
- At least one Instagram post captioned “I don’t know who I am without this”
Dr. Clarisse Vellum, a therapist who now moonlights as a submission validator, confirmed, “If the artist isn’t questioning their worth while blending shadows, it’s probably AI.”
“AI art is technically impressive,” Grimm added, “but it doesn’t smell like spilled coffee and untreated anxiety.”