To celebrate 25 years of delicious energizing BAWLS Guarana, the company has announced it will launch a campaign to literally “inject dem schweet BAWLS into your veins.” A BAWLS spokesman said, “for 25 years our fans have asked. Now they shall receive.”
After a duck fanatic traveled 10 hours to what he believed was QuackCon, he soon realized his blunder upon entering the Gaylord Texan. “I walked into the building, duck costume on and everything, and yet not another duck in sight. Then I get told that I’m at some kind of gamer event or something. I must be going QUACKERS!”
QUAKECON & GAYLORD STAFF LAUNCH INVESTIGATION FOR PERSON RESPONSIBLE FOR SPRINKLER SYSTEM SPRAYING BAWLS INSTEAD OF WATER
After a small electric fire erupted in the BYOC, QuakeCon and Gaylord staff were puzzled to find that the sprinkler system had been altered to release pure BAWLS Guarana instead of water.
Local authorities are now seeking any information that may lead them to the memelord responsible.
“This is no laughing matter,” a local Grapevine Sheriff stated shortly after laughing at the word “BAWLS.”
QuakeCon attendance has risen exponentially over the past few years, however that rising statistic seems to be attributed to the flock of earthquake enthusiasts who descend on QuakeCon only to leave dissapointed.
When interviewed, traveling Idaho man said “I love Earthquakes! They’re a way of life! This so called QuakeCon is a lie and cheat! I think I speak for my fellow Quaker Boyz when I say we’ve been tricked, backstabbed. and quite possibly, BAMBOOZLED!”